Realizing the coward in myself.

And the need to be less cowardly because of my insecurities.

Today I kept remembering myself at my worst because perhaps the night prior I felt like I was acting my worst. 

Let me tell you what it looks like - the coward in myself looks mean. It tries to be tough, it's defensive, immature, hurtful and inconsiderate. It doesn't give people the time or day. It makes excuses. It's Ugly and I hate it. I spite it. It's particularly unfriendly, closed off, and something that just makes me cringe when I think about it. 

I don't really understand it, but it's there, and it's scary.