I'm thinking about a lot of things right now. Just various things and I'm battling all the forces around me with what feels like very little support. I had such a close group of friends and people that made me feel so alive in Vietnam. I often wonder why is it that I want to go to graduate school. It seems like it's the next logical step for me, to continue my education. I'm scared of the price - but at the same time price didn't stop me from going to Berkeley and I landed there.
Summers in Los Angeles are hot. Summers in Ontario, CA are even hotter. The feeling of airconditioning is still nice especially in my office. Where I sit in my office I have no windows so it kills me. I don't have a sense of what time it is outside. In Vietnam when it rained I could see outside. When it rained I could take a brake and stare out. In Vietnam the front doors were large and had large windows on them. Summers here feel unbearable because I have to get into my non-airconditioned car to get home and it's hot. I've learned that parking my car in the shade is your best bet. For some reason, I dealt with the heat in Vietnam so well - there was no escaping it. For some reason, heat here feels really uncomfortable. Perhaps I have forgotten what the heat feels like in Vietnam. Perhaps I have just plain forgotten.
It's been a year today since I've returned from Vietnam. A mother fuckin' year.
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I want to find support but in order to do that I need to make it known that I need that support and want that mentorship.
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happy thoughts. happy thoughts. happy thoughts.
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