Values to remember.

1. Relationships/Friendships
2. Learning/Asking Questions
3. Seizing Opportunities
4. Crossing Boundaries
5. Exploration
6. Creativity
7. Sharing & Growth
8. Love & Warmth
7. Care & Thoughtfulness.

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Do something out of the ordinary
Do something different
Do something you are scared of
Do something, today.

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birthdays, friends/visiting gifts, disco ball, googly eyes, shoe photos, family stories.

Keeping the idealism alive.

Sometimes that's all I have to survive.

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Tapping into my spirit to keep me uplifted. My wandering loving oh so big free spirit. The one that makes people smile and think that creativity still exists. The one that is imaginative, dreamy, and expansive.The one that is connected to my homeland, the one connected to the scattered colored memories of my grandfather, the one in which genuine laughter sticks to.

I have to not let the Ugly overwhelm me, only remind me.

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I'm a good writer, I promise. When I was young my first dream job was to be a "story writer" I liked how I could write a story and people liked it.

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Maybe I should tell a story using fabric and abstract symbols to represent what I want to say.

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Don't be scared of your feelings, your thoughts, and whatever not.

The patterns I miss dearly.

Thoughts/Complaints on a Sunday.

Facebook status updates makes me feel uneasy about society and the direction we are going.

Sometimes I wonder if I should just be like "fuck it" and be upset (But that's sorta useless). Or try to remain calm and just be. Maybe those things are not necessarily separate from one another.

Don't be afraid, just be yourself.

I'm sick of life's sayings and photos on facebook that try to make me feel better about the haphazard nature of life. I'm also sick of seeing people post things on facebook to try to make them feel better about life. I post things on facebook that try to make me feel better about it.

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What are the solutions?

What are the solutions to the problems?

What are the problems?

What are the problems that need solutions?

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My brain is sorta boggling over what is going to happen in the next year or so. How "Up in the Air" it feels. Working hard is important. Trying is important. And articulating yourself and putting yourself out there is also important. Having a strong sense of self and confidence is also muy importante. This is not a time to be complacent. Is there ever a time to be complacent? I feel a bit bombarded by the world I live in. The Push and Pull of values that I don't really feel are necessary but then suddenly are. It's difficult because when you are surrounded by people who find those values to be important or a vital part of life, you can't help but fall into it to. 

What are your values?

It's okay to not know. The flow is a bit funky and things don't make complete sense. Perhaps because life is a little bit more conscious. I don't think it is more complicated - it is the same as it always has been. 

What a funny feeling I have.

I feel tired many times, fatigued maybe, thoughts and worry consume me and I don't know how to get rid of it. I'll be okay, but money worries me. My heart misses him but I know I am headed in the direction I want to head. I could however be messy or I can be controlled.

Controlled and secretly messy. Messy on the inside, controlled on the outside. Never just messy.

I just have to pick myself up on my feet and not let things get me down. I wish I didn't feel so whooooooooa with things I do or things that I need to do or am going to do.

Maybe I just need to hop on a plane and look at the infinite sky. It feels okay to miss the infinite sky, the rolling green rice fields, the sweeping rivers, the movements. To miss those things never really feels painful. Perhaps it's because I know it will return to me one day. Perhaps it's because what you remember are the beauty of those moments and nothing more. Maybe that's what love is and should be. It was worth it. Whatever worth really means, in these little lives of ours.

For however long I can remember I have wanted to move to the East Coast. It was a place I have yet to conquer, a place I have yet to be and live in. I'm excited for this move, and like all major things that I do, I do it from my well-thought-out-cautious-but-brave-gut of mine. The reason why I want to pursue this degree is because I want to see all the shapes, patterns and colors of the world and be paid. Honest talk. That's about it. I know there is so so much to the world that I have yet to see and interact with on a deeper level. I am urked by Los Angeles because ultimately this is what I will call home. I feel restless here because I want to see more. I grew up so much being away. Being back meant a whole lotta adjusting and dealing with issues I've always had and the battle I have with home.  I can say I don't like Los Angeles but I think it's something deeper than that. I can say that I hate the traffic, the pollution, the way people schedule everything and are always busy, and the lack of meaningful heartfelt interaction because they don't have a strong sense of self. They are battling it out with the city too and Los Angeles and Southern California will be the qualm I have with myself because ultimately it is who I am.

See you soon East Coast.