I have all the things that I didn't have in Vietnam. A macbook air, a samsung galaxy III, a ukelele, a record player, so many things. But the one thing I don't have is close friends, that is difficult to come by. =(
Focusing on doing things that feed my soul. Must do things in life that feed my soul. This period in L.A. has really been a transition period for me, one that is filled with meaning and finding. I know what I don't want, and I sorta know what I want so I'll head in that direction despite having to leave things and say goodbye.
27 February, 2013
15 February, 2013
25
Around this time last year I had just moved to L.A. for two weeks. I feel like my life has been paused. There is something that I am not realizing. The fact that I should dress and be who I want to be, not be so scared of creepy men, and just BE for god fuck sake and look good while doing it. I'm not going to look like this ever again.
12 February, 2013
Out of sheer nuttiness and brevity of our existence.
I vow to wear my funny hats, dress with lots of color, and perhaps even start sticking googly eyes on things.
What do I want to shift within myself?
As I approach this new year with grad school and moving to a new place with the chance to "start over" again, I will do the following:
Be open to hurt and make friends. Honestly I really need to suck up this "insecurity" bullshit that I do. I need to stop wishing and hoping that people will like me A LOT. People will like me, people will want to spend time, and people can't fucking read your mind!
Add people to facebook, call them, invite them to lunch and hangouts, make them feel like you want them in your life. I am terrible at this. And as my friend Sally said to me the other day "You really want people to like you"
What a crippling weakness of mine. I need to learn that not everyone will like me and that will be okay. Not everyone will like me the same way either or express it. Making friends in the adult world is not an easy task, it requires effort, coordination, openness and being non-judgemental and letting people make mistakes.
Be open to hurt and make friends. Honestly I really need to suck up this "insecurity" bullshit that I do. I need to stop wishing and hoping that people will like me A LOT. People will like me, people will want to spend time, and people can't fucking read your mind!
Add people to facebook, call them, invite them to lunch and hangouts, make them feel like you want them in your life. I am terrible at this. And as my friend Sally said to me the other day "You really want people to like you"
What a crippling weakness of mine. I need to learn that not everyone will like me and that will be okay. Not everyone will like me the same way either or express it. Making friends in the adult world is not an easy task, it requires effort, coordination, openness and being non-judgemental and letting people make mistakes.
10 February, 2013
Organizing my passions.
Hard thing to do when you realize that life inevitably happens.
Sending positive vibes to myself for the new year. I'm tired to finding quotes to understand my life. Would it be alright that I did not understand it at all? Yes.
---
I must understand that he doesn't know the answer either.
---
It's so hard to make friends in such a big city where people already have their lives. I was never the type to put myself out there to make the first move to be friends with someone. You would think this would be a really simple human thing to do.
Maybe I just need to relax, just do what I love and then everything will follow suite.
---
I love to see and observe. Observing the patterns of people's mistakes, quirks and cute ticks makes me happy. I do not do a good job of relaying this passion of seeing and observing. It's very much of an internal thing I do with myself.
---
Last night in the dark hallway the looming red glow of my ancestors reminded me.
---
My mom the other day told me that Chinese people in Vietnam are called Người tàu which literally translates to: "Boat People" because Chinese people arrived to Vietnam by boat!
Mind blown.
---
Some ideas: Mixing transnational cultural identity, the going back and forth between understanding what home is,
art and music and my adventures/haphazardness, what it's like to work with different cultures, the messy work of
cultural relevancy blah blah blah.
Sending positive vibes to myself for the new year. I'm tired to finding quotes to understand my life. Would it be alright that I did not understand it at all? Yes.
---
I must understand that he doesn't know the answer either.
---
It's so hard to make friends in such a big city where people already have their lives. I was never the type to put myself out there to make the first move to be friends with someone. You would think this would be a really simple human thing to do.
Maybe I just need to relax, just do what I love and then everything will follow suite.
---
I love to see and observe. Observing the patterns of people's mistakes, quirks and cute ticks makes me happy. I do not do a good job of relaying this passion of seeing and observing. It's very much of an internal thing I do with myself.
---
Last night in the dark hallway the looming red glow of my ancestors reminded me.
---
My mom the other day told me that Chinese people in Vietnam are called Người tàu which literally translates to: "Boat People" because Chinese people arrived to Vietnam by boat!
Mind blown.
---
Some ideas: Mixing transnational cultural identity, the going back and forth between understanding what home is,
art and music and my adventures/haphazardness, what it's like to work with different cultures, the messy work of
cultural relevancy blah blah blah.
04 February, 2013
When love is calm.
Do not mix comfort with stillness.
When love is calm it feels just
right.
At that precise moment two lovers are
smiling at the fact that
their existence suddenly
matters
matters
to another being.
---
I've been having hard lessons in what it feels like to be a grown up and deal with your own shit. It hit me in the face very suddenly in the past few months and I'm trying to deal with it. Perhaps I'm just learning to live with it.
Not a kid no mo'
---
01 February, 2013
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