27 October, 2012
24 October, 2012
Thank God for blogs.
Or else no one would ever hear me.
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I perused this article today. It talks about how people on this particular island live to see a century. I wonder if I will die young because of Los Angeles or because of the cities I choose to live in. Long Xuyen was so peaceful, it's something you won't really understand until you live in a place where time isn't really a nuisance. Wait until you experience what it means to ride on a motorbike past the lush green almost silk like aura of rice paddies. It will overwhelm you, not in a bad way - it will overwhelm you the way a kiss lingers. It will calm you because it reminds you that life ain't that bad when things seem so green.
I skyped with one of my favorite people in the world the other day, chi Thao from Vietnam. She was in Singapore as her spirit carries her, sitting in a room drawing pictures of lotuses for an art crafts project. What I would do to be there. I tell her about my stress over school, my love life, and laugh at the idea she is trapped in the room because she is allergic to the cat outside. She says "if you go back to school, that means we won't see you for a long time isn't it?" In my broken English I try to tell her the reason why I am going back to school is so that I can return to work in Vietnam - but I fail miserably. I somehow manage to tell her the school allows us to work in the country we want to work in and that I want to study health and human trafficking. I try. I'm surprised that I understand everything she is saying to me, seeing that I haven't spoken Vietnamese in a while. It comes out naturally just as the conversation does.
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I perused this article today. It talks about how people on this particular island live to see a century. I wonder if I will die young because of Los Angeles or because of the cities I choose to live in. Long Xuyen was so peaceful, it's something you won't really understand until you live in a place where time isn't really a nuisance. Wait until you experience what it means to ride on a motorbike past the lush green almost silk like aura of rice paddies. It will overwhelm you, not in a bad way - it will overwhelm you the way a kiss lingers. It will calm you because it reminds you that life ain't that bad when things seem so green.
I skyped with one of my favorite people in the world the other day, chi Thao from Vietnam. She was in Singapore as her spirit carries her, sitting in a room drawing pictures of lotuses for an art crafts project. What I would do to be there. I tell her about my stress over school, my love life, and laugh at the idea she is trapped in the room because she is allergic to the cat outside. She says "if you go back to school, that means we won't see you for a long time isn't it?" In my broken English I try to tell her the reason why I am going back to school is so that I can return to work in Vietnam - but I fail miserably. I somehow manage to tell her the school allows us to work in the country we want to work in and that I want to study health and human trafficking. I try. I'm surprised that I understand everything she is saying to me, seeing that I haven't spoken Vietnamese in a while. It comes out naturally just as the conversation does.
23 October, 2012
18 October, 2012
Splurts of thought.
Lately I've been having a flurry of thoughts the minute I wake up to the minute I daze off into a glaze of dreams. I guess this is what happens when you are no longer a child and your mind is at the height of its development and thought. If I don't constantly push myself to learn new things, to adapt, to get out of my comfort zone my dreams will harden. I already can't see for my life depended on it. I interact with people who I can tell they are in this little bubble of familiarity. Having never left it, they react in negative ways to new things. I know that I can't be here forever because it doesn't challenge me quiet the same as I was abroad. Yeah, probably in a few years I'll tell you something completely different.
Yeah, probably in a few months I'll be a different person. Ride the waves of mistakes, heartbreaks, and shakes because that's all you'll ever get.
So if I asked you about art you’d probably give me the skinny on every art book ever written...Michelangelo? You know a lot about him. Life's work, political aspirations, him and the pope, sexual orientation, the whole works, right? But I bet you can't tell me what it smells like in the Sistine Chapel. You've never actually stood there and looked up at that beautiful ceiling. Seen that.....If I asked you about women you'd probably give me a syllabus of your personal favorites. You may have even been laid a few times. But you can't tell me what it feels like to wake up next to a woman and feel truly happy. You're a tough kid. I ask you about war, and you'd probably--uh--throw Shakespeare at me, right? "Once more into the breach, dear friends." But you've never been near one. You've never held your best friend's head in your lap and watched him gasp his last breath, looking to you for help. And if I asked you about love y'probably quote me a sonnet. But you've never looked at a woman and been totally vulnerable. Known someone could level you with her eyes. Feeling like! God put an angel on earth just for you...who could rescue you from the depths of hell. And you wouldn't know what it’s like to be her angel and to have that love for her to be there forever. Through anything. Through cancer. You wouldn't know about sleeping sittin’ up in a hospital room for two months holding her hand because the doctors could see in your eyes that the term visiting hours don't apply to you. You don't know about real loss, because that only occurs when you love something more than you love yourself. I doubt you've ever dared to love anybody that much. I look at you; I don't see an intelligent, confident man; I see a cocky, scared shitless kid. But you're a genius, Will. No one denies that. No one could possibly understand the depths of you. But you presume to know everything about me because you saw a painting of mine and you ripped my fuckin' life apart. You're an orphan right? Do you think I'd know the first thing about how hard your life has been, how you feel, who you are because I read Oliver Twist? Does that encapsulate you? Personally, I don't give a shit about all that, because you know what? I can't learn anything from you I can't read in some fuckin' book. Unless you wanna talk about you, who you are. And I'm fascinated. I'm in. But you don't wanna do that, do you, sport? You're terrified of what you might say. Your move, chief.
Yeah, probably in a few months I'll be a different person. Ride the waves of mistakes, heartbreaks, and shakes because that's all you'll ever get.
So if I asked you about art you’d probably give me the skinny on every art book ever written...Michelangelo? You know a lot about him. Life's work, political aspirations, him and the pope, sexual orientation, the whole works, right? But I bet you can't tell me what it smells like in the Sistine Chapel. You've never actually stood there and looked up at that beautiful ceiling. Seen that.....If I asked you about women you'd probably give me a syllabus of your personal favorites. You may have even been laid a few times. But you can't tell me what it feels like to wake up next to a woman and feel truly happy. You're a tough kid. I ask you about war, and you'd probably--uh--throw Shakespeare at me, right? "Once more into the breach, dear friends." But you've never been near one. You've never held your best friend's head in your lap and watched him gasp his last breath, looking to you for help. And if I asked you about love y'probably quote me a sonnet. But you've never looked at a woman and been totally vulnerable. Known someone could level you with her eyes. Feeling like! God put an angel on earth just for you...who could rescue you from the depths of hell. And you wouldn't know what it’s like to be her angel and to have that love for her to be there forever. Through anything. Through cancer. You wouldn't know about sleeping sittin’ up in a hospital room for two months holding her hand because the doctors could see in your eyes that the term visiting hours don't apply to you. You don't know about real loss, because that only occurs when you love something more than you love yourself. I doubt you've ever dared to love anybody that much. I look at you; I don't see an intelligent, confident man; I see a cocky, scared shitless kid. But you're a genius, Will. No one denies that. No one could possibly understand the depths of you. But you presume to know everything about me because you saw a painting of mine and you ripped my fuckin' life apart. You're an orphan right? Do you think I'd know the first thing about how hard your life has been, how you feel, who you are because I read Oliver Twist? Does that encapsulate you? Personally, I don't give a shit about all that, because you know what? I can't learn anything from you I can't read in some fuckin' book. Unless you wanna talk about you, who you are. And I'm fascinated. I'm in. But you don't wanna do that, do you, sport? You're terrified of what you might say. Your move, chief.
-Good Will Hunting
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LIFE'S SO FUN AIN'T IT?
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LIFE'S SO FUN AIN'T IT?
17 October, 2012
Perhaps I remind him of home.
When time becomes something that is quantifiable, it changes things. Have you ever lived in a place where time didn't matter? Instead time is seen in the form of light, heat and the seasons. Time isn't a number, an hour, a minute. Instead time flows and it wanders, you wander with it. When time wanders it no longer becomes a burden. It no longer stresses the human spirit to become or accomplish.
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Sometimes I think that people have a thread that comes out of them. It weaves and traps them when they become stressed or sad. They become consumed by the thread. When the person is moving or happy, the thread moves forward and reaches new heights. When they fall in love their thread weaves with another person. When hardened their thread no longer moves with the same fluidity as it used to.
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Well done.
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What matters is matter is matter is matter.
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"No offense" Someone said that to me a few weeks ago. At first I was taken a little aback, but then at the end I thought it was a really refreshing comment, for someone to disagree with me directly is a hard task to do and something I haven't encountered in a while.
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Sometimes I think that people have a thread that comes out of them. It weaves and traps them when they become stressed or sad. They become consumed by the thread. When the person is moving or happy, the thread moves forward and reaches new heights. When they fall in love their thread weaves with another person. When hardened their thread no longer moves with the same fluidity as it used to.
---
Well done.
---
What matters is matter is matter is matter.
---
"No offense" Someone said that to me a few weeks ago. At first I was taken a little aback, but then at the end I thought it was a really refreshing comment, for someone to disagree with me directly is a hard task to do and something I haven't encountered in a while.
14 October, 2012
Colored tasks.
If you take a slice of life, somewhere in the fabric of insecurities, misfortunes, and mistakes, you will find that in every single point in time we humans are trying to understand what is going on around us. At any given time, we ponder, feel and attempt to understand. The unexplainable for instance. We talk about it all the time, hear it on the news, see it through the gossiping lips of others. The unexplainable from that weird outfit that a person is wearing to a person behaving like an asshole. With the assumption that normal is normal, anything that differs from the norm fascinates us and captures us in different ways. There are those that try and try to be different, to be different is their normal. Lately, I've been fixated with the idea that nothing is finite, that people's opinions are based on arbitrary circumstances and that what is in front of me is not necessarily what is in front of me. I assume that this causes others to see me a bit floaty, perhaps quiet or timid, unable to grasp concrete facts - however, I'd like to think that it's not necessarily a fault, but more so a talent if you will.
Sometimes I talk to people and I think they're idiots but this is very rare. Idiots because they are mean-spirited, because the goodness in them is not really there. Or perhaps I think they're idiots because I feel unable to connect with them, get along with them, or click with them. That's probably more like it. I've come to terms that I won't be friends with everyone and won't stress out trying to be friends with everyone. I am very content with the people I have met and look forward to the many connections I will make in my lifetime.
Sometimes I talk to people and I think they're idiots but this is very rare. Idiots because they are mean-spirited, because the goodness in them is not really there. Or perhaps I think they're idiots because I feel unable to connect with them, get along with them, or click with them. That's probably more like it. I've come to terms that I won't be friends with everyone and won't stress out trying to be friends with everyone. I am very content with the people I have met and look forward to the many connections I will make in my lifetime.
13 October, 2012
The flow of things.
I've been on panic mode for about a month now but whatever. Appropriately, I decided to travel to 5 cities in little over 10 days. I visited many people along the way, who graciously opened their homes to me. I was on a whirlwind of bus rides, subway rides, plane rides, taxi rides, and car rides. I completely forgot to take any photos in Boston.
Chicago:
Many people say that they "love" Chicago after going there. I love Chicago. I had really good company while there, a chill time with folks, walking and wandering around Chinatown reading the grammatically incorrect or overzealous proclamations of greatness on the signs of Chinese Zodiac statues (apparently "dragons are awesome"). I learned that rent was super cheap there, there were cool coffee shops, and strangers talk to you in the most genuine way possible. My kind of city.
Here is something I wrote while I was there:
Boston:
I literally spent half a day in Boston and took no pictures. I got off the bus at South Station took the subway to Harvard School of Public Health, spoke with admissions and got a great mini-tour, spoke with the Global Health and Population Department, sat in on a class, sat in the cafeteria trying to look like a student "studying" while waiting for my friend Tam, took the bus to her apartment, relaxed and chit chatted with her about public health, knocked out at 11 pm, then woke up hella early to catch the subway to the plane to D.C.
D.C. & Baltimore:
D.C./ Baltimore was crazy. I arrived in D.C. at 1:00 pm, hoped on the subway to get to Union Station and rushed unnecessarily to catch the 2:00 pm bus to Baltimore. Had 30 minutes to spare. D.C. subway stations all look the same and have this futuristic dimness to them. When you are on the subway people are just shadows with the lighted backdrop - my favorite part of D.C. Baltimore was pretty sweet though, but most of it was spent at a music festival and recovering from the music festival. I also had a productive day at Johns Hopkins Bloomberg of Public Health where I was able to get a tour, talk to admissions and MPH program and catch a faculty member that I've been trying to speak to.
Chicago:
Many people say that they "love" Chicago after going there. I love Chicago. I had really good company while there, a chill time with folks, walking and wandering around Chinatown reading the grammatically incorrect or overzealous proclamations of greatness on the signs of Chinese Zodiac statues (apparently "dragons are awesome"). I learned that rent was super cheap there, there were cool coffee shops, and strangers talk to you in the most genuine way possible. My kind of city.
Here is something I wrote while I was there:
The other day while on the “L” with my friend Patricia I
began talking about the expansiveness of the Universe with her. I interjected
our earthly rickety subway conversation with random excitement as I remembered
a fascinating fact that I read in a book by one of my favorite authors “A Short
History of Nearly Everything” by Bill Bryson. I’m still in the midst of reading
it, but in a nutshell the book breaks down science and explores the beauty of
our existence with it. In order to have the reader understand the expansiveness
of the universe, Bryson demonstrates the distance between Jupiter and Pluto
from one another through this analogy. If Jupiter were approximately the size
of a period on this page and Pluto the size of a molecule, then Jupiter and
Pluto would still be 35 feet away from each other.
Later that night, we headed to a show called Radiolab at the
Chicago Theatre. When you walk into the Chicago Theatre your attention is
immediately called to the grandiose fixtures and architecture of the building.
Walking up the well-worn burgundy stairs curving to the left and right, we
found our seats. It’s one of those “Whoa, I just walked into the Coliseum” sort
of feelings. It’s a surprise because the lobby is so tiny compared to this
expansive space that lies deep within. Thao Nguyen was also the band to the
show to my delight. We were trying to think of what to eat.
I sorta want wontons
Wan tan mi sounds good
right now.
YES!
I love those moments where your palette feels immensely
satisfied from food suggestions. We headed towards Chinatown. My mama did tell
me to visit Chinatown.
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| I LOVE THIS BEAN. |
New York:
People say New York is "crazy." The crazy thing was New York was anything but that. This is probably what happens when you lived in a city or two, and the idea of "crazy" no longer stems from how a city functions different from the city you live in. I'm more interested in the culture of things and how people behave and interact with one another. With New York I took in the little things, the way people and the city seem to pulsate together without a second thought. Sorta like blood cells running through the veins. Doors open, people step in. Side walks crack, people walk over it. Subway is late, people wait. Things seem reliant on the city. The first thing I noticed though was people talked and interacted with each other. I guess this comes with being a guest to a city rather an inhabitant. My feet fucking hurt by the time I was done with New York, but I came out of it with some tough feet I tell you. I'm proud of my worn calluses (tmi I know). People are really nice in NY though - anytime I asked for directions I got a smile and maybe even a sentence or two. I sorta felt comfortable in New York after 4 days - something that I was uncomfortable with.
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| Ed Cohen picks me up! |
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| Pacific Links Foundation reunion |
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| Sittin' on the steps of Brooklyn. |
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| Hangin' out in ktown with NY kids. |
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| IPPUDO in East Village with all friends |
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| Waiting for the subway, across from Michelle and Tam. |
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| Frantically running with my luggage to catch a bus, I notice that I am passing by the Empire State Building. |
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| Across the water |
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| Donna Choi |
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| First times: in a convertible, in NY. |
Boston:
I literally spent half a day in Boston and took no pictures. I got off the bus at South Station took the subway to Harvard School of Public Health, spoke with admissions and got a great mini-tour, spoke with the Global Health and Population Department, sat in on a class, sat in the cafeteria trying to look like a student "studying" while waiting for my friend Tam, took the bus to her apartment, relaxed and chit chatted with her about public health, knocked out at 11 pm, then woke up hella early to catch the subway to the plane to D.C.
D.C. & Baltimore:
D.C./ Baltimore was crazy. I arrived in D.C. at 1:00 pm, hoped on the subway to get to Union Station and rushed unnecessarily to catch the 2:00 pm bus to Baltimore. Had 30 minutes to spare. D.C. subway stations all look the same and have this futuristic dimness to them. When you are on the subway people are just shadows with the lighted backdrop - my favorite part of D.C. Baltimore was pretty sweet though, but most of it was spent at a music festival and recovering from the music festival. I also had a productive day at Johns Hopkins Bloomberg of Public Health where I was able to get a tour, talk to admissions and MPH program and catch a faculty member that I've been trying to speak to.
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| My short time in D.C. I got to see the amazing subways. Beautiful and dim lighting. |
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| Public Health (Anne Chiang and I) + Aline Xayasouk |
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| Baltimore, MD |
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| Eating Baltimore food. |
This trip really reminds me how much I love moving around from one place to another learning things about others and their way of life while learning a thing or two about myself. I am tired though, I'm happy to be back at home. I don't get to travel as much as I used to and perhaps that it's okay. Life feels pretty good.
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