18 September, 2012

Shifting noises.

Tell me that it's okay to be confused with what life throws at you. It tells me that I can find passion when I believe in who I am and when I have others that believe in who I am. This is what life is, and this is all it will ever be. That's why people will tell you it's not about the money, to enjoy life, and to make the most out of it - frankly being fixated on trying to find something that is not there will lead you into empty hallways. They will tell you to enjoy life because after years of trying to figure it out, after the so-called confusing 20's they realized they should of just enjoyed it. The 20's being stressful is a ridiculous matter. Why am I stressed? If anything I have very little to be stressed about. I'm youthful, smart, and can travel the world. What should I really be stressed about? Be smart, save money, use it wisely, don't wear your heart on your sleeve, care for people, aim for something higher, and in the end everything will be alright.

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Balance and get things done. Be happy, laugh, and do what your heart wants. Lately, I've been tired. My friends notices it too. Lately I've been telling people that I'm stressed. When people ask me how I am, I want to tell them of all the great and fantastic things I did before they asked me that question. I want to have a positive outlook on life and connect with people in that way. This has always been a difficult task for me. To open up to people, be who I am at the core, and stay that way.

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Let's practice:

I was handed a pile of papers with penciled and penned names. The numbers started at 1, 2 and with each succeeding name we progressed towards the hundreds. The names were returned victims of human trafficking in the last year. Like many, seeing the penciled and penned names I had no face to them, no story, just a number next to their name. The number of trafficked victims were so high that they no longer can keep track of them, the piles of paper getting larger and larger.


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I can't wait for the challenges of balance, school, work, family, love and life that lay ahead of me.

When I blink it will all pass.

When I think of things that I like, things that have stirred my passions it has always been color and the ability to create things within a limited framework or given select tools to do so. I haven't quiet been able to find a platform to do this, but I continue to do so with my blog. I also sorta live it, so I'm able to do this when it when given the opportunity to do so. Very seldom though do I have people asking me to create things. I wonder how I can create a platform so that I can do it on the daily, so that it can be a lived experience for me and not something that I think about. I wonder how I can get good at creating. Creating is extremely difficult and unfortunately is often second to everything else that life throws at me.

What flows? How do you flow?

I want to be able to emanate goodness and let it flow through me. I feel tasked to see every color there is possible. And that is what I leave you with tonight.




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